do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
