4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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