if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
