Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
