I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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