May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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