Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
