I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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