To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
