It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
