I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
