Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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