Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
