My room smells like vodka and shame
This is not my ceiling
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sorry about my life...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
