I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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