I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
