will power is for people who don't want to get laid
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
