When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
