It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
