i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
