No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
