Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
