okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
