There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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