there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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