The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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