vagina is talking i cant
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
