beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
