i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
