you would pick up someone in the library
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Alive.
So much puke
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
