I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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