New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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