I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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