well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
