another moral hangover. fuck.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
