Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
