Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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