the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
