OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
