Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
