So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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