he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
