and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
