Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
