There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
