great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
