party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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