You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't deserve a penis
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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