I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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