I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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