do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it was like eating out sand paper
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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