dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
