So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
